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Homework Help

By Amy Dienta

So my last post was about getting to places on time with both children- a 5-month-old and a 9-year-old who takes forever to get ready. Thank you for all of your good advice! Getting ready seems to be going smoother.

I found this quote the other day:

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.  ~Franklin P. Jones

My 9-year-old recently is taking forever to do his homework. I’m talking from 5-9pm every night. He fools around, touches everything in sight and basically drives me crazy!

His homework consists of 2-3 worksheets, a reading log and a spelling assignment. He is in 3rd grade and homework is only going to get harder, and their will be plenty more of it as he gets older. It’s not that he does not know what he’s doing, it’s just that he gets easily distracted. He taps his pencil and, like I mentioned earlier, touches everything around him.

I’ve taken away everything but the pencil, and he started playing drum solos on the table!

How can I help him finish quicker, and without yelling at him? How can I help him be less distracted? I am trying to be patient, but it’s getting tougher and tougher. I look forward to your help!

1 Comment
by jflojennings on February 8, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Amy Dienta, Mommy Blogs
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Posted by jflojennings on February 8, 2012

http://mvmoms.com/2012/02/08/1556/

Nap time

By Jessica Del Llano

Who doesn’t love a nap?  I’d take a nap every single day if I could.  And these beautiful little children we bring into the world actually get that chance, and what do they do with it?  They WASTE it!

My 2 ½ year old daughter, Sara, has begun resisting nap time more and more.  Over the month of December, my husband and I both worked more/longer hours.  Various family members came and went, stepping up to watch Sara (for which we are eternally grateful).  However, the lack of consistency and routine took its toll on Sara, and even now that our schedules are back to normal, we can’t seem to get back to a nap routine.

I used to be able to count on 2-3 hours to myself in the middle of every day, Whether I was hitting the treadmill, cleaning house, reading, having a nice long uninterrupted phone chat with a friend, vegging out in front of the TV, or taking a nap myself, I had come to rely on that all-important “me time.” Having no break all day until she goes to bed does not work for me.

When she first started putting up a fight at nap time, I compromised with “quiet time” on the couch watching her favorite TV show. Dedicated time to get her to slow down and recharge her batteries.  But Sara doesn’t like to sit still very long.  Soon she’d be back at play, and I was being beckoned,

“Mama, come play with me!”

That wasn’t going to work if I was going to get anything done. One afternoon I drove around for over 45 minutes because she had fallen asleep in the car.  That was an expensive nap considering gas prices, but worth it at the time.

A quick survey of my mom friends told me there’s no cut-and-dry age when children stop napping.  Some stopped before age 2, others are 4 years old and still nap most days.  I’m so afraid of ending up in the early ending nap group, mostly because Sara really does need a nap.  On the days when she doesn’t take one, let’s just say evenings are not exactly pleasant in our house, and they continue to deteriorate the closer we get to bedtime.  She misbehaves and ends up in time-out more on no-nap days.  There are definitely more tears.

And I know my fuse is shorter because I haven’t had a break all day.

I need that time just as much as she does.  But when she’s slept for at least 90 minutes mid-day, she’s such a sweetheart that I’ve considered keeping her up past her bedtime just to hang out with her more.  It’s that much of a difference in her mood.

So I’m not giving up on the prospect of a daily nap. In the past week I’ve become the nap enforcer.  OK, I can’t force her to sleep.  But she’s in her crib, lights out, for 60-90 minutes a day whether she likes it or not.  If she falls asleep, that’s awesome.  If not, this dedicated time to relax seems to be enough to ensure a pleasant remainder of the day for all.

What age did your child stop napping consistently?  Do you have dedicated “quiet time”?

5 Comments
by jflojennings on February 2, 2012  •  Permalink
Posted in Mom Tips, Mommy Blogs
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Posted by jflojennings on February 2, 2012

http://mvmoms.com/2012/02/02/naptime/

A Holiday Tradition

By Dawn Thompson

I read this wonderful story once about a mother who was teaching her young daughter the importance of family tradition for a perfect Holiday dinner. As she placed the pot roast on the counter for trimming, she explained that the final result would be a tender, juicy roast if you cut 3 inches off of one end and about an inch off of the other.

The inquisitive little girl wanted to know why.  Her mother said she never questioned why and responded, “Because this is how your grandma did it.”

Later that evening the mother called HER mother and asked what cutting off the end of the roast did for the meat.

To the mother’s surprise, she was told, “That’s the only way it would fit in the pot!”

One of my favorite Holiday traditions was baking with my grandmother. She had a box full of our favorite Holiday recipes and year after year, without question, we would make these goodies and everyone would count on them for dessert. One of my specialties was making the famous”rum balls.” They didn’t have any rum in them, and I didn’t like coconut, but I did know that they were a Holiday tradition and everyone counted on them.

That was good enough to make them one of my favorites to make with my grandmother.

Things have changed since I was little, and this will be my dear grandmother’s first Chirstmas in Heaven. I am forever grateful for the traditions she handed down to me so I could pass on to my children, and them to theirs.

Happy Holidays from the Thompson family. Wishing everyone a joyous season, and may you always remember: Its not the size of the pot that matters!  :)

 


3 Comments
by jflojennings on December 6, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by jflojennings on December 6, 2011

http://mvmoms.com/2011/12/06/a-holiday-tradition/

Discussing Death with Children

By Jessica Del Llano

I was 17 when I lost my first grandparent – my grandfather.  There were extended family and friends of the family who passed away during my youth, but never someone as close to me as a grandparent.  At 17, I was so unprepared emotionally to deal with that kind of loss, and frankly, it never got easier.  It was 7 years before I lost another grandparent.  It became about the huge life events they missed like my wedding, and getting to meet their great-granddaughter.  Their absence was especially felt during those special times.  I never processed the death of a grandparent as a child.  It was always from a young adult or adult’s perspective.

My father-in-law has been ill for some time, suffering with a debilitating pulmonary disease, and he passed away surrounded by family in the ICU of Lowell General Hospital on November 19.

I have to admit I was very hesitant about approaching the subject of death with my 2-year-old daughter, Sara.  She was aware Papa was in the hospital, but I found myself without the right words to explain that he was gone.

My own earliest memory is from age 3, so I am sad Sara may not have many, if any, memories of her Papa.  We can tell her stories, we can show her pictures, but it’s just not the same.  I was blessed with 17 years having all four of my grandparents, and I’m lucky to still have my Nana with us today.

Someone recently shared the story “The Fall of Freddie the Leaf” by Leo Buscaglia with me, and it’s a wonderful book that puts death in a perspective children can understand.  If you haven’t read it before, it’s worth it, no matter how old you are.  I think that’s my best bet for approaching this with Sara right now, and I hope it helps her understand what happened on some level, though it may take until she’s older before she really grasps what she has lost.

What’s your experience discussing death with your children?

1 Comment
by jflojennings on December 1, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by jflojennings on December 1, 2011

http://mvmoms.com/2011/12/01/discussing-death-with-children/

Nursing Mothers Need Your Support

By Heddi Nieuwsma

I’m a nursing mother these days. While the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for an entire year, I was curious about how many mothers actually do this. To find out, I reviewed some recent data from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. These data estimate that only 24 percent of mothers are still breastfeeding their babies at 12 months (see table 1).

Table 1: Breastfeeding Report Card 2011, Percent of U.S. children who were breastfed

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Breastfeeding Report Card 2011, United States: Outcome Indicators, Provisional data, 2008 births

Even though research indicates the many benefits of breastfeeding for both babies and mothers, why are these rates so low? What can be done to ensure that nursing mothers receive the support they need and deserve? Some experts have suggested that mothers receive initial support for breastfeeding after giving birth, but more could be done to provide long-term support.

My son is quickly approaching 6 months of age, and to be honest, I look forward to introducing some solid foods and reducing his dependence on me as a food source. I’ve found breastfeeding to be extremely rewarding, but it can also be challenging at times. While I am a strong advocate for breastfeeding, I understand that every woman’s situation is different. I think women should have the freedom to decide whether or not to breastfeed based on their own individual needs.

Recommended Items for Nursing Mothers

For those of you that currently breastfeed or will in the near future, here’s my quick list of items that have made my life as a nursing mother easier:

  1. Lansinoh HPA Lanolin: I found this to be essential during the first few weeks.
  2. Nursing pillow: There are many kinds out there, but I prefer the Boppy.
  3. Nursing pads: To avoid embarrassing and uncomfortable leakage situations, these are a must.
  4. Nursing bras and tank tops
  5. Nursing cover-up and blankets: For nursing in public, I always have my “hooter hider” on hand. Thin nursing blankets also work, but for the less coordinated like me, an around-the-neck cover-up works great.
  6. Breast pump: For all the obvious reasons, this allows you some freedom to return to work, go for a run, etc. You can even buy hands-free pumps now!
  7. BPA-free baby bottles: I like the Born Free bottles that do not contain the potentially harmful chemical, Bisphenol-A.

For additional assistance, check out Lowell General Hospital’s Breastfeeding Support and Lactation Services. Here you’ll find information about:

  • Inpatient Lactation Consultants
  • Breastfeeding Classes
  • Outpatient Breastfeeding Clinic
  • New Mother Support Group
  • Telephone Support: Call 978-937-6334 for help with your breastfeeding questions.

Your input requested:  Do you have any additional advice or resources for nursing mothers? Please share your own thoughts, experiences, or stories in a comment below.

Nursing mothers need your help!

15 Comments
by jflojennings on November 30, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by jflojennings on November 30, 2011

http://mvmoms.com/2011/11/30/nursing-mothers-need-your-support/

Turkey Shoot

By Sue Anganes

Before Thanksgiving last year, our family participated in a black powder turkey shoot. Tessa won the prize.

The prize, of course, was a frozen turkey!

We were all thankful for Tessa and her sharpshooting skills. The turkey was delicious!

1 Comment
by jflojennings on November 25, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by jflojennings on November 25, 2011

http://mvmoms.com/2011/11/25/turkey-shoot/

Thankful for What You Can Get

By Sandy Egan

One Thanksgiving day when my son was 4, we were all running around getting ready to go to my sister’s house for Thanksgiving dinner.  In my family it is traditional to dress up for the holidays.  My husband’s family tends to be much more casual, and my son made it plain that year which tradition he preferred.

After struggling to get him into the bathtub, to brush his teeth, and to put on his underthings, he saw the dress pants, shirt and blazer I had laid out for him to wear that day.  Two large frown lines formed between the eyebrows and his blue eyes were mutinous.  Not wanting to have a all-out confrontation, I sweet-talked him into the dress pants and shirt, saying that once he was dressed, he would look as handsome as his daddy.

“See, sweetie?”  I said, pointing to my husband.  “Look how handsome daddy looks all dressed up.  You want to be handsome too, don’t you?”

“Okay.”  (Lower lip stuck out)

The next step was to tuck in the shirt.

“I don’t want to tuck it in, Mom.” He said flatly.  “It’s uncomfortable, mom.  Can’t I just wear it like this?”

“Oh, honey, but look at Daddy!  He has his shirt tucked in.  He looks so handsome, and so will you!”

I managed to get him into his blazer, socks and shoes without much trouble.  The last obstacle was his hair.   He had thick, curly, dark hair (and still does).  After a bath and much struggling with his clothes, his hair looked like it wanted to to run away from all this, too.  I took out a hairbrush, and his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates.

“No more, no more!” he yelled, ready to run down the hall to his room.  I caught him just in time, and quickly got a few quick sweeps of the hairbrush in.  “There!” I said, showing him in front of the mirror, “Just look at you now!”

“Mom!” he said with disgust, “Now I’m TOO much handsome!”

He stomped down the hallway.

I thought, I can live with that.

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by jflojennings on November 25, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by jflojennings on November 25, 2011

http://mvmoms.com/2011/11/25/thankful-for-what-you-can-get/

Thanks 4 Giving

By Heddi Nieuwsma

At the Thanks 4 Giving Race in Lowell, 2009

On Thanksgiving morning, my family and I will be at the Thanks 4 Giving Road Race & Walk, which supports Alternative House’s transitional housing program for survivors of domestic violence.

This race has become somewhat of a tradition for our family, as 2011 marks our third year participating.

It’s a wonderful way to begin the holiday because we’re supporting a great charity, spending time with family and friends, and burning some calories before the big meal! There’s still time to register for the 5K run/walk or 10K race, so please consider signing up. The race starts at 8:00 AM at 40 Old Ferry Road in Lowell.

Happy Thanksgiving!

4 Comments
by jflojennings on November 23, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by jflojennings on November 23, 2011

http://mvmoms.com/2011/11/23/thanks-4-giving/

The Art of Discipline

We’re proud to present Sandy’s first post. Her background in psychology will make her blogs a great source of information and discussion.  For the rest of the week, we’ll post a few Thanksgiving sentiments from some of the Merrimack Valley Moms, so check back often!

By Sandy Egan

For every mother, the decision on how and when to discipline your child is an issue that is tested throughout their childhood.  Indeed, it is tested every day for a mother and, often, multiple times throughout a day.

Discipline takes many shapes and forms, and this article does not attempt to argue a point to spank or not to spank.  I write instead of the concept of discipline as a whole, how I apply it to my everyday life with my kids and, hopefully, help clarify the issue for others.

As I had mentioned before, my experiences before parenthood in the field of psychology have led me to study and practice the developmental stages a child will go through.  These stages have been categorized and named by very famous psychologists.  After I became a mother, however, I came up with my own names for the different developmental stages a child will go through.  In terms of discipline, each stage had a specific name that logically dictates the guidelines for the appropriate action for a parent to take.

In other words, what is appropriate discipline for a 2 year old would not be for a 10 year old, and vice-versa.

Why discipline your child?  Most moms already know the answer to this question.  If you are a new mom, you probably have memories about how you were disciplined as a child and will base your child’s discipline on what you liked or didn’t like when you were growing up.

First, discipline is not equivalent to punishment.  Punishment might be an outcome of discipline, but discipline’s primary purpose is to teach.

Teach what?   To teach a child about their world and to equip them with skills that will protect them from harm and make good choices.  This holds true from the toddler stage to the teenage years.  In future posts, I will write about each developmental stage.

5 Comments
by jflojennings on November 21, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by jflojennings on November 21, 2011

http://mvmoms.com/2011/11/21/the-art-of-discipline/

Shirts, Sleeves and Sentiments

By Sue Anganes

Eight year old Teddy excitedly exclaimed,

“Mom, look, I have a shirt just like Charlie’s!”.

I turned to see what the excitement was about.  There was Ted, with his giant gap-toothed grin, standing in his favorite Spiderman t-shirt with the sleeves cut off.  They weren’t neatly cut off, but hacked off by, my guess, a pair of rounded kiddie scissors. He had also hacked off a pair of pants into shorts.

“What in the world did you do that for?’,  I asked with a slight annoyance in my voice.

The shirt was his favorite, and I considered it now an unusable piece of clothing. 

“I made a shirt just like Charlie’s”, Ted said proudly, “I’m going to look cool like Chaz!”.

Charlie had a couple of sleeveless shirts that he wore on occasion, and they certainly must have made an impression on Teddy. The youngest of all his siblings, Ted was always trying to keep up with the others, especially his oldest brothers and idols, Andrew and Charlie.

Ted wore his modified Spiderman shirt everywhere we went. I was sure other moms at the park were wondering why I would let my kid out of the house dressed in what was basically a rag. He wore it all that summer and then all winter in the house. It was dug out of the unfolded laundry basket and often  times worn multiple days in a row, unwashed. I drew the line at wearing the shirt to church, but other than that, Ted expressed his “coolness” everywhere.

This past week I was helping Teddy and Ray clean out their bedroom drawers. Teddy , now ten years old, dug out from the back of his drawer the old sleeveless Spiderman shirt and stuffed it into the rag bag without a flinch. Later, when the job was completed, I pulled it out of the rag bag. I stuffed the shirt  into the back of my dresser drawer until the day I can part with the memories.

I’m wondering what memories some of you moms have squirreled away in the back of your drawers….

9 Comments
by jflojennings on November 16, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by jflojennings on November 16, 2011

http://mvmoms.com/2011/11/16/shirts-sleeves-and-sentiments/

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