Trim Time

By Sabina Chen

If it had been up to me, I would have let Milo’s hair grow until I could tie it into a ponytail.  But his hair was getting pretty unwieldy, covering his eyes, and hard to keep neat.  For Daddy, the final straw was the fact that Milo’s hair was starting to snake down his back like a mullet.  This was unacceptable.  We had to get a haircut.

I imagined Milo’s first haircut would be a battle.  He is cautious of strangers, let alone strangers playing his hair.   I imagined a poor hair stylist trying take a little off his bangs and Milo tossing his head from side to side, screaming, “Don’t touch me!”

In an effort to make Milo’s hair cut a fun family event, I wanted a salon that catered to kids.  My fellow MVMoms Blogger Meredith McKay had taken her daughter, Mia, to Snip-Its over a year ago.  So I decided to give it a shot.  We went to the location in Nashua, NH.

We told Milo we were going to Snip-Its to get a haircut and then we would go out for pizza.  I printed out the $3 coupon for first-timers.  I showed him the website, full of pink and green and a yellow pair of scissors with eyeballs and a tuft of hair: Snip-Its himself.  Milo was game.

Shaggy-headed customer ready for action.

The salon is brightly decorated pinks, greens, and yellows, and is full of fun statues and decorations.  Imagine Disneyland turned into a hair salon.  Milo barely had time to explore before it was his turn.  He eagerly climbed into a pink salon chair, was buckled up, and bright blue smock with penguins tied around his neck.

The stylist was obviously experienced working with 2-year-olds.  She flipped on the bright green video monitor.  Milo was mesmerized.  He was still long enough to get most of the haircut done and when he started moving, it was out of curiosity rather than annoyance.  The whole haircut took about 10 minutes.

Since this was Milo’s first haircut, we received a photo and a certificate with a lock of his hair.  Milo also got to insert a card into a vending machine for a special prize (a rubber ducky).  After the $3 first-timers’ coupon, the total came to $13.99 + tip.

The haircut was nothing fancy, just about an inch trimmed all the way around.  I suppose I could buy myself a pair of scissors and try cutting his hair myself at home.  Maybe I’ll do that next time.  But for Milo’s first haircut, it was a nice treat to visit Snip-Its.  I’m sure he would not have been so cooperative if Mommy had insisted on cutting his hair at home.  In fact, Milo had such a good visit to the salon, that Daddy thinks we might be raising a budding metrosexual.  That would be just fine.  Can’t wait for our first mother/son mani-pedi.

Milo with his finished coif and a new friend.


Ore-gone!

By Sabina Chen

We are traveling on Thanksgiving Day to Oregon, where we will celebrate Turkey Day and Milo’s 2nd birthday with Grandma.  I am thankful for a healthy, bright, happy kid who loves books.

And since we’re traveling with toddler, I’m thankful for Blue’s Clues.


Trick or Treat at Charmingfare Farm

By Sabina Chen

Family portrait with llama at Charmingfare Farm. Photo Credit: Marianne Nepslund

Last weekend, we took advantage of the great fall weather to check out Charmingfare Farm in Candia, NH.  Charmingfare is a working farm that doubles as a petting zoo and also hosts various seasonal events for families.  This month, it’s Halloween, and Charmingfare is hosting a Children’s Trick or Treat event.

Costumes are encouraged.  Milo refused to wear his frog costume, but that didn’t stop him from fully participating in the farm’s offerings.

Admission to the Children’s Trick or Treat is $17 per person (children under 1 are free) and advanced reservations are recommended.  We also bought 2 bags of feed, which was more than enough for our domestic animal feeding frenzy.

We started the morning at the bouncy house, always a Milo favorite.  He was reluctant to leave, but we enticed him with feeding the llamas, and then the sheep and the goats in the petting zoo.  These animals are accustomed to being fed by strangers and children and were generally pretty docile.

The goats, however, could get a little over affectionate, but they leave you alone if you don’t have any food.

Costumed characters were stationed all over the farm to dispense candy.  Pony rides were included in the cost of admission.  These did not interest Milo, but the empty tractor parked across from the pony rides provided endless fun for my 22-month old boy.  We re-visited the tractor three times during our visit.

Charmingfare also has a small zoo of wild animals, including a camel, wolves, coyotes, foxes, reindeer, and bears.  Obviously, it is not appropriate to feed these animals, so we didn’t linger too much with them.  It’s a short walk through the woods to the hay ride.

Originally, Blake thought the hay ride was going to be overrated and wanted to skip it, but the event is set up so that you must take the hay ride to get to the other attractions.  So we piled into the big red wagon, pulled by two beautiful mares named Stacy and Emily.

It turned out to be quite a pleasant ride through the woods, decorated with Halloween ghouls and tombstones.  In the daylight, these spooks appeared appropriately creepy for the occasion, but not so much to be truly scary.

The hay ride deposits its passengers at Grandpa’s Spooky Hay Barn, a darkened old barn with a hay maze inside.  It was impossible to get lost in this maze, which made it less scary than hairy.  When we emerged from the hay maze, we took the Tractor Train Bog Ride through another set of woods.  The tractor ride was my favorite attraction.  Riding over the bumpy road in the woods with turning leaves, I felt like I was truly celebrating fall in New England.

The tractor train dropped us off at the Crazy Scarecrow Corn Maze, which was less of a maze, and more of a meandering trail through the 9-foot tall corn.  In the daylight, it was difficult to get lost, as long as you stay on the path.  It was a rather charming stroll through the corn, with Blake cracking corny jokes along the way.  All in all, a good entertainment value for me and my family.

Charmingfare’s Children’s Trick or Treat is billed as “merry-not-scary!”  We found this to be true.  For those so inclined, Charmingfare also offers a night event, the Harvest of Horror, that promises more heart-pounding thrills.  All the above—the hay ride, the hay barn, the corn maze—would positively terrify me in the dark.

Once Milo gets old enough to actually enjoy screaming in fear, I’ll send him back with his father.

Charmingfare Farm’s Children’s Trick or Treat is open for one more weekend, October 29th & 30th.  For more information, visit their website:

Children in Nature

Milo and his friend Liam love their dirt!

By Sabina Chen

When we were pregnant with Milo, Blake and I were living in a big city, surrounded by cars and concrete. There were plenty of city parks around, but nothing like the acres of woods that Blake had grown up with. Blake said he wanted his children to know dirt. Now, living in New Hampshire on 8 acres of land, Milo knows dirt; in fact, “dirt” is one of his favorite words!

I’ve been thinking about how we live in an area with wonderful opportunities to learn about the natural world. We’ve taken Milo to farms and ponds and even the forest in our backyard. He’s chased birds and bugs. Wild turkeys walk across our driveway. Last week, Daddy caught a toad and Milo was thrilled – his current bedtime reading includes The Adventures of Frog and Toad, so toads are his favorite right now.

In our wired world, kids are spending more and more time indoors, in front of the computer or television and losing touch with the great outdoors. Many people believe this lack of connection with the natural world is taking its toll on society. In fact, author Richard Louv wrote a book in 2005, Last Child in the Woods, in which he coined the term “Nature-Deficit Disorder.” Louv writes that our society’s limited exposure to nature leads to a condition that may contribute to a wide variety of behavioral problems in children. He argues that human beings are instinctively bonded with nature and, therefore, kids need good doses of unstructured time outdoors for growth and development.

I lived in the big city for many years and I loved it, but I can see the logic behind Louv’s argument, particularly for children. I often feel like we suffer from too much information, too much stimulus, flashing signs and 24/7 news cycles, and I am definitely guilty of spending too much time in front of my computer and connected to my smart phone. For Milo, this flat screen with the funny lines and pictures must be a baffling representation of reality. He needs to feel things, smell them, and stick them in his mouth. Getting him out in nature will ground him in a world that is true.

There is an upcoming conference on October 5th that seeks to address the problem of Nature-Deficit Disorder: The New Hampshire Children in Nature Conference. The conference centers on ways of incorporating more outdoor education in young children’s lives. 

I was also glad to discover a resource in the Children and Nature Network, an organization that promotes and facilitates bringing communities together around children’s outdoor education.  The Children and Nature Network has a downloadable tool kit to start a nature club for families.  I’m considering starting one.  Who’s with me?

Home for Father’s Day

By Sabina Chen

Daddy arrived home after a month in Africa, just in time for Father’s Day.  Milo and I picked him up at the airport and, at first, Milo didn’t recognize him.  Daddy seemed somewhat familiar, but something of an abstract concept.  During Daddy’s entire absence, Milo has been carrying around Daddy’s objects—his mug, his screwdriver, his shoes—and proclaiming, “Da-da!  Da-da!”

We’ve managed to have several phone calls and two skype sessions.  Yet when Daddy shows up in the flesh, Milo eyed him cautiously.

Who is this tall guy with the funny hat?

The day Daddy left (what seems like ages ago), Milo was okay seeing Daddy off at the airport in the morning.  It didn’t hit him until he woke up from his afternoon nap and looked for Daddy in every room in the house.   The realization that Daddy wasn’t there was quite distressing for the poor little guy.  One of his most important objects of permanence was now gone.  It’s like having the ground drop out beneath you.

Milo did adjust to life without Daddy, but he wasn’t the same little boy.  He was much clingier and prone to weepy outbursts and he wouldn’t let me out of his sight.  So while Milo took a little while to re-adjust to his Daddy, it’s not taking him too long to welcome Daddy home.  He’ll probably wake up in the morning and feel like something’s different, better, more settled, the way it’s supposed to be.

So here’s a shout out to all Dads!  Especially those who are away from their families this Father’s Day.  You leave a big, Daddy-sized hole when you’re gone.

And while we’re on the subject, any ideas for Father’s Day activities and gifts?

Because I’m stumped.

Mommy Posse

By Sabina Chen

I’m about 12 days into my month of single motherhood (see previous post Single Mom for a Month) and I’m exhausted.  After a long day of running around with Milo, juggling mealtimes, nap times, outings, bath and bedtime, I toss in a load (or three) of laundry and barely have the energy to write an email to my husband before konking out for the night.

Mommy is pretty frazzled, though I must say, I’d be even more crazy if it weren’t for my moms group.   I am grateful for this group of mommies who get together at parks, playgrounds, and homes, to let our kids play while we get a little adult interaction.  We met in yoga class and we’re all bent toward the natural/hippie/less-is-more philosophy of parenting, though we also allow our differences for our different babies.  It’s so helpful to bounce different parenting ideas off each other, to note what worked for someone and what didn’t work.  I don’t think I’d be as happy a mom without my moms group.

Recent mom group meeting at Benson's Park in Hudson, NH.

Mommyhood these days can be very isolating, but I don’t think it’s meant to be that way.  In a previous age, generations and neighbors cared and mentored each other.  Experienced moms and new moms.  There was a village and community that passed wisdom around.  These days, we can sit at home and look everything up on the internet or connect via facebook and never actually have to talk with anyone.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the internet and Facebook.  But there is nothing that can replace the camaraderie of getting together around a bunch of sippy cups and multi-grain Cheerios.  It’s good for mommies and good for the kids.  Milo knows his friends and his friends’ mommies.  His world (and mine) is a little bigger because of moms group.

Happy Mommy and Milo, borrowing his playmate’s wardrobe.

Mother’s Day Postmortem

By Sabina Chen

A few days ago, I went shoe shopping with Milo and witnessed a sad scene.

A young mother and her three kids were in the shoe store.  Two of the kids were trying on shoes and the third was asleep in the stroller.  The mother, who was clearly exhausted, had a very short temper, yelling at them for doing normal kid things.  When her son tossed a shoe aside, she threw down another pair of shoes and yelled at him to pick them up.  When her daughter brought out a pair she wanted, her mother said she didn’t like them and screamed at her for pulling them out.  Finally, the mother yelled that the kids were going home and sitting in their room for the rest of the afternoon.  She put the kids on a time out right there in the shoe store.

The sales person, trying to diffuse a tense situation, said,

“Looks like mom could use some time alone in her room!”

The mother smiled weakly and said,

“Yeah, I would love to lock myself up in my room!”

It was a difficult scene to witness and, as much as I was trying to mind my own business, it was hard to avoid.  I felt for the young mother, who was clearly at the end of her rope.  Maybe the baby had kept her up all night for several nights in a row, who knows?  But I felt even more for her poor kids, who looked so sad and forlorn on their time out.  They even looked a little scared.  Milo even went over to them and tried to cheer them up.  I hoped their mom’s short temper wasn’t a regular occurrence at their house.

I’m not sure what to do in these situations, when I see a mother struggling with her kids and needing help.  Do I try to ignore it and say it’s none of my business? (Which is what I did, though I didn’t feel good about it.)  Do I step in and try to lighten the mood? (I was thankful the sales person said what she said.)  Do I offer to play with the kids while the mother takes a break and gathers herself? (Milo would have happily helped.)

What is my responsibility as a concerned neighbor?

After the Mother’s Day chocolates are gone and the flowers have wilted, there’s no denying that motherhood is hard.  It’s exhausting and overwhelming to be responsible for another human being, one who relies on you for his or her very survival.  As hard as we try, we all fail sometimes in motherhood.  We all need help.  That young mother needed help.  She needed a grandparent or a sibling or a friend to come alongside her and give her a break from her kids so that she could lock herself up in her room for an afternoon and have a good cry.

I hope she got that for Mother’s Day.  For her children’s sake.

Single Mom for a Month

By Sabina Chen

Milo will miss his daddy

I have always admired single parents and how they manage to love and raise kids by themselves.  Parenthood is hard enough with two people juggling work, child care, play dates, diapers, and the kitchen sink.  I couldn’t imagine having to do everything on my own.  Well, I’m about to try on the single mom’s shoes for a while.

My husband, Blake, is traveling to Africa this week.  He’s going to be building a school in a remote region of Southern Sudan.  He’ll be gone for a month.  Communication in this region is spotty at best, so it’s not like Milo will get to skype with Daddy every day.

I’m a little nervous.  I’m supportive of Blake pursuing his work in Sudan.  He has always wanted to do work in developing countries, so he’s pursuing his dream.  And I think one of the best things a parent can do for a child is to pursue one’s own dream.

At the same time, how am I going to manage without my husband?  We trade off childcare so that both of us can work freelance.  I am someone who needs a lot of time to herself, so losing those hours of freedom will wreak havoc on my psyche.  Not to mention the little things, like having someone to watch Milo while I take a shower, or having someone empty the dishwasher, or that warm body in bed with me.  Most importantly, how do I help Milo—at 16 months—deal with Daddy’s absence?

Wish us luck.  Friends and family have offered to help watch Milo as needed and Grandma will be coming for a visit in May.  I’m optimistic we’ll get through this relatively unscathed, though perhaps not unchanged.  A month without Daddy is one of many transitions Milo will face in his life.  Hopefully, he’ll come out the other side with a little character.

How to Raise a Boy (or Girl)

By Sabina Chen

I recently wrote a post on my blog about making a doll for Milo (Read my blog post, “A Doll for Milo”).  I was thinking about how toys were marketed to kids according to gender and what society expects of boys vs. girls.  Most of the toys geared towards boys were cars and blocks and all things mechanical; dolls and clothes and kitchen tools were marketed to girls.

But Blake and I want Milo to develop his nurturing side as well, so I made him a doll.

When I posted my blog to my facebook page, I received quite a number of comments and discussion.  While everyone agrees with the idea of allowing boys to play with dolls and girls to play with cars, there was some discussion as to what this actually accomplished.  My friend Daniela, mother of three (two girls and a newborn boy), wrote:

I wanted my girls to have cars, dinosaurs, blocks and a train set in addition to girlie stuff. They never took to train or cars but are crazy about blocks and dinosaurs. Though the dinosaurs don’t attack and devour each other, instead they nurture the baby dinosaurs. Very interesting to me what does seem to come naturally.

I thought this was a fascinating discussion and invite others to comment.  How much of children’s gender roles are nature vs. nurture?

It remains to be seen how and if Milo’s doll will help him develop a nurturing side.  For now, I think the best thing I can do as a parent is to keep all options open.

Milo hugs his doll.

Where to Play Inside

By Sabina Chen

It’s been a long winter.  Spring is on its way, hopefully.  But there’s still snow on the ground, or it’s still too cold to go romping around in a park with your little one.  If you’re like me, you’re going crazy cooped up inside the house.  (See my previous post:  Cabin Fever.  What do you do?

My moms group has been checking out indoor playgrounds in the Merrimack Valley.  I surveyed the moms to get their views about each venue.  We all have children around the same age (13 to 17 months old), so our perspectives center around that age group; however, we did not agree on everything and have varying preferences according to our very individual kids.

These venues are listed in alphabetical order.  Each venue has its own policy on bringing outside food and taking off shoes.  Be sure to check out the websites for more details.

Bobo’s Indoor Playground
Nashua, NH

Admission: $8.00 for walkers, $4.00 for crawlers, adults and infants free

Bobo’s Indoor Playground features a large blow-up bouncy house and giant blow-up slides, as well as some backyard climbing structures and slides.  There is a separate, enclosed space that keeps toddlers and crawlers safe from older, more rambunctious  kids.  The floor is nicely padded and open.  There are plenty of toys for all ages.  This is a good place for kids to run around and work off some energy.

One of the moms commented on how the smaller space gives Bobo’s a warm, family feel.  However, another mom thought the warehouse space felt cold, temperature wise, and yet another thought it felt dark and cave-like.  You’ll just have to go and decide for yourself.

Discovery Stop
Londonderry, NH

Admission: $7.00 per child, $1.00 per adult, children under 1 free

Discovery Stop has something for every age group: trains, books, puppets, construction, and more.  You can play house, you can play store, you can play police, you can play music and art.  The space is divided up into “stations” by low walls, reminiscent of cubicles.  There is a separate area for toddlers that can be closed off to contain them.  The main feature is a large indoor play structure that offers a maze of climbing, sliding, crawling, and gleeful exploration.

Most of the moms liked that there were separated stations and spaces containing each activity.  We always saw a staff person cleaning, so we felt confident that germs were being kept at bay.  However, the low walls also served to hide kids from our sight line and that meant we were constantly chasing our toddlers.

Kaleidoscope Children’s Museum
Manchester, NH

Admission: $9.99 per child, adults and infants under 1 free

Located in one of the old mill buildings, Kaleidoscope has a large, open space with lots of natural light, a big plus for those dreary winter days.   Most of the space is worn wooden floors, but there is a matted tumble area for toddlers to climb and roll around.  There are several unique “exhibits” for kids to explore—a fire truck, a farm, a tree house, a pirate ship—all custom built for Kaleidoscope.  There is also a stage for kids to play dress-up and perform, a puppet booth, and a reading corner.
The open space and worn wood floors provided a vast landscape for toddlers to run around.  So much to see!  So much to do!  Of course, this meant moms were running around a lot too, but the open space made it easier to keep an eye on our children.

Parking was an issue for some of the moms.  Several of us ended up parking on the street, which made for a somewhat slippery trek to the entrance.

Nuthin’ But Good Times!
Merrimack, NH

Admission: $9.00 children age 4 and older, $5.50 children age 3 and under, $2.50 adults

A brand new establishment, Nuthin’ But Good Times! features a large 20-foot high play structure with mazes, tunnels, and slides.  There is also a smaller toddler area with a soft-play structure and a sandbox.  While the main play structure is meant for children 4 years old and older, younger kids are allowed on it with adult supervision.  For parents, there is comfortable seating, free Wi-Fi, and actual food service.  The idea behind this venue to provide a comfortable café setting for the parents while your kids run around the giant play structure and hopefully tire themselves out for a good nap later.

Most of the moms felt this venue was geared towards older kids.  The toddler area was not well separated from the main area and there were older kids that invaded the toddler space.  I should note, however, that the daddy in the group liked this place a lot, and had a swell time climbing after his toddler on the 20-foot play structure.

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