Our Weekend Getaway

By: Sue Anganes

Every year since our twentieth anniversary, my husband Alan and I have gone away together for a weekend to celebrate. This twenty-ninth year we planned our getaway, but we took five of our kids with us! Since work issues and medical issues have been piling up on us lately, we thought that the kids needed some time away from the stresses of life as much as we did. Because of my son Ray’s medical problems, we waited until Wednesday to make reservations for Friday and Saturday night. If he was too weak, we didn’t want to go.

We found a low cost Holiday Inn Express in North Conway, NH, with an indoor pool, Jacuzzi, and free breakfast, and we booked three rooms- one for the boys; Ray, Teddy, and Charlie, and one for the girls; Tessa, and Charlie’s girlfriend, Rebekah, and one for us (we weren’t going to totally give up our getaway weekend to the kids!) With the days of owning a fifteen passenger van long gone, we all piled into two cars on Friday morning and headed north in the sunshine.

Roadtrip

Along the way, Alan and I pulled into a semi-rundown looking diner for lunch. Both Tessa and Rebekah momentarily thought that the diner we pulled up to was the hotel! Much to their relief it was only a diner!

Ray enjoying his steak and pepper sub

The rest of the trip up was uneventful. As we pulled into the hotel parking lot, Teddy told us that Charlie had told him that the first thing you do when entering a hotel room is jump on the beds. I informed Teddy that if he was kicked out of the hotel he was on his own.

After we settled into our rooms I received an email from my oldest son Andrew. It went something like this: “Hi Mom, We didn’t know that you guys were heading up to North Conway! We were planning to head up there tomorrow….” Somehow, I don’t think he and his wife, Amanda, were actually planning on heading north until they heard that we were, but that will never be truly known. I told Andrew where we were staying, and Alan and I were making bets on what time they were going to arrive the next day. I somehow thought that if they left Massachusetts around 8 am, they would arrive in New Hampshire at around 11:30 am. Friday night we had fun in the indoor pool, and around 9 pm Alan and I decided to leave the festivities and head to our room for the night.

Saturday morning, when we went down to the lobby for breakfast, Andrew and his wife Amanda sitting there at a table eating! Evidently, as soon as they heard where we were staying, they had hopped into their car right after work and arrived on Friday night at 9:30, unbeknownst to us. Now our anniversary getaway was a party of nine.

We had so much fun just bopping around North Conway on Saturday. One of our favorite places to visit is a used bookstore called “The Local Bookie.” Ray bought out most of the store inventory by purchasing thirteen history books. Everyone else found a few treasures, and I think the book store owner made his sales quota for the week as we walked out the door.

Mountain view

Unfortunately by Sunday morning, Ray’s medical issues were making it impossible to say longer. He was too weak to even sit up in his wheelchair so we decided to head home that morning. I was disappointed for Ray’s sake, but I had expected that he might not have been able to keep up for the whole three days.

We celebrated our anniversary in a different way this year. Our romantic dinner was held in front of a gas log at McDonalds, but we wouldn’t have had it any other way. We were so thankful to have the kids with us this year and make some family memories.

Anniversary dinner at McDonalds

All-Time Favorite Toys

By: Sue Anganes

What are some of your all time favorite toys? We recently dug out from our closet a Lite-Brite set for my granddaughter, Amelia, to play with. She spent hours plugging the little multi-colored plastic pegs into the light box and creating her own special designs. We also hauled two bags of Mega Blocks down from our attic for my grandson, Elias. He’s kept busy during the last few times I’ve babysat him, just making towers. At 16 months he’s starting to compare the shapes of the blocks, and he loves to find all the matching sizes and put them together. It is fun to see that the toys that my kids enjoyed playing with are just as entertaining to the next generation!

Lite Brite

Play doh was something that kept my own kids busy for a long time. I also liked ink pads (washable) and rubber stamps, crayons and markers, construction paper, glue and glitter, and street chalk for the summertime. My boys (and girls, for that matter) would play for a long time with matchbox cars both inside the house and outside in the dirt. All my kids loved their stuffed animals, and my younger daughter spent most of her childhood playing with her dolls. There were so many other things that kept them busy: puzzles, books, legos, and some plain, old-fashioned sticks they would scavenge outside.

Elias with Mega Bloks

I would love to hear what you moms have discovered to keep your kids occupied and help them develop their own creativity. Feel free to post!

Teddy’s Big Week

By: Sue Anganes

My son, Teddy, turned twelve this month. He had been anxiously waiting for this momentous birthday, and there was no way he was going to let it pass by without having something spectacular.

TedsBefore his birthday, Teddy sent me an email with links to Amazon and eBay listings of various gifts he was hoping to receive. He had links to Lego Hero Factory kits, as well as a few links to actual full size replica swords. He basically stated that he would be happy with anything on the list, but the fifty dollar “Robin Hood Sword” would be his heart’s desire. Well, immediately after I received Ted’s email, I had to forward it to all his siblings to show them exactly what the youngest sibling in the family had on his list. I signed the email, “Mom (made of cash) Anganes”. Of course, all kinds of emails flew back to me jesting about Teddy’s requests. The truth was, none of the older kids would have dreamed of ever giving me a list of things they wanted, never mind emailing me a list with links to big ticket items! They had grown up in a much “leaner” time period. We always gave simpler gifts, and that was all that was ever expected.

Later in the evening, I read the gift requests to my husband. The big softie hopped onto eBay and ordered the 34” Robin Hood Sword and Scabbard! He told me, “You’re only a kid once!” Somehow, I pictured my husband at Teddy’s age, desiring that same sword. My heart melted a little bit thinking how much Teddy and his dad were alike.

Normally, our birthdays are celebrated with all the siblings and their spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, and our grandchildren. With only those in attendance, we can easily have fourteen family members around the table. Getting all the family together at one time can sometimes be a problem.

On the week of Teddy’s birthday we decided to have a cake for him on Super Bowl Sunday, even though his birthday was on that Wednesday. Most of us would be together that night and we could at least sing happy birthday to him at half time. Unfortunately, the sword had not arrived, so I knew we were destined to somehow have another “party” around the gift opening.

On the actual day of Teddy’s birth, Wednesday, the sword had still not arrived. Fortunately for me, his wonderful church youth group leader, Katie, offered to bring brownies to youth group that evening to celebrate Teddy’s birthday. I was off the hook for that day.

The following evening, Thursday, Teddy had archery. He shoots archery with a group of pre-teen (“smelly,” as my daughter refers to them) boys. I had mentioned to the instructors that I was going to bring a cake for that evening and that the kids could sing “Happy Birthday” to Ted. Unfortunately, that day was the same day that thousands of shoppers swarmed to Market Basket to stock up before the blizzard. While everyone else was filling their carts with bread, eggs, and milk, I was standing in the checkout line with a birthday cake and the last two packages of Hoodsie Cups in the store. I think I aged another year just by shopping on that day.

Thursday night, UPS delivered the Robin Hood sword. We hid it in the garage. On Friday, the blizzard hit. Teddy was still wondering if he was going to have an actual birthday with an actual present.  We decided to celebrate “officially” on Saturday afternoon. His oldest sister, Cassie, even volunteered to bake a Funfetti cake after working sixteen hours straight at Lowell General’s Critical Care unit from Friday afternoon till Saturday morning.  We invited one of Teddy’s favorite friends, Hailee, to join us for the evening. After we sang and Ted blew out his candles, we brought the sword out from its hiding place. Ted knew instantly what it was and rejoiced!

Seven days and four cakes later, Teddy’s Gala Birthday Extravaganza was complete. That evening, with a small amount of alarm in his voice, my adult son Charlie came to me and explained that he saw Teddy escorting Hailee down the street to her home WITH the 34” Robin Hood sword. I prayed he would get back before the neighbors noticed and panicked. Hopefully, there isn’t any law against Robin Hood escorting a lady home from his birthday party.

Expectations

By: Sue Anganes

I went to bed last night expecting four to six inches of snow, but when I awoke, all we had gotten was a dusting. I didn’t expect that. I was anticipating shoveling, boots, and cancellations, but instead the common morning routine took its place.

Photo courtesy of Sue’s mother, Barbara Ortler

Photo courtesy of Sue’s mother, Barbara Ortler

From the moment of their births, I have wondered what my children’s lives would turn out to be. I had hopes and dreams for their futures, and over the past twenty-eight years I have seen many of those hopes fulfilled. There have been marriages and grandchildren, graduations and other major accomplishments, all of which have been good and joyful and blessings in our lives. But looking into the future is like looking through a pane of frosted glass. We see an image beyond, but cannot quite make out what it is. We are not sure if that is pleasant or hard, a success or a failure, health or sickness.

I never expected to have a son with a disability. It’s not usually something that we dwell on before our children are born. In my son’s case, he is limited physically, so the hopes and expectations I had for him as a baby had to be adjusted. They are not any less of hopes, but just different. I look through the pane of frosted glass and I’m not sure at all what lies beyond, other than knowing that I will be there for him through each step into that unknown.

It is not easy to be a mom in this current world of turmoil. We do not know what the future holds for our children, or ourselves for that matter, but we are not powerless. We can use every ounce of our mothering energy to help our children strive for and reach their own goals. We can help them to fulfill their own intellectual, physical, and emotional abilities. We can help them to be the best that they can, whatever their limitations are and expect good to come of it.

There is a verse in the Old Testament which is a huge encouragement to me in life:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosperyou and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”    ~ Jeremiah 29:11

In the year 2013, I pray that all of you will guide your beloved children into the future with love and joy.

~ Sue

Music Lessons

By: Sue Anganes

Over the past twenty-one years, I have had my children involved in music lessons. Each kid has studied voice, violin, cello, or piano, and my son, Andrew, studied two instruments. Two of them started lessons at the age of six and the others started around eight. Because I had a background in cello and piano, I encouraged them to play string instruments, although I would have supported them studying any instrument they chose.

Ted & His ViolinEarly on, we found a string instructor who was very mild mannered and kind to the kids, so we stayed with him for over sixteen years. My four string players progressed well for their age levels, and three of them continued lessons until they went to college and were quite accomplished musicians. My three oldest string players were involved in various orchestras, ensembles, musicals (in the orchestra pit), and occasionally played for weddings.  Someone always seemed to be practicing somewhere in the house, and it was lots of fun for me when I was able to play with them at various events. I volunteered for one of the orchestras that two kids played in early years, and I played my cello with students in quartets during my kids’ recitals.

None of my kids have gone on to study music as a career, although their musical education will be with them for their lifetime. My adult children do pull out their instruments (and voices), and often play or sing at church or an occasional wedding.

How do you know when your child is ready for music lessons?

Usually, if your child can be attentive and able to concentrate for a thirty miutes, he or she is ready to start lessons. My daughter, Tessa, started violin when she was six, but I think she did more talking than playing during her early lessons. By the time she was eight, I noticed she was able to pay better attention to her instructor and focus on the lesson. If a child is frightened or cries at a lesson, it is probably too early to start. Kids should enjoy their lessons and their instructor.

How do I choose an instrument?

What does the child like? Obviously most parents are not going to encourage drums, but why not? There are many great opportunities for percussionists in student orchestras. If you have had experience with a certain type of instruments, as I did with strings, maybe that is the path to take so that you can help a little in the learning process. I don’t think I would have been much help to my kids with woodwinds or brass instruments because I knew nothing about them. Many music stores rent instruments to students so if you find you haven’t made the right choice for your child, you can switch to another instrument and not waste money purchasing an unwanted instrument.

Who do I find to teach my child?

Teddy playing the violinThe best way to find an instructor is by word of mouth. Usually someone will have a good or bad opinion of an instructor. You can speak with other parents or contact a local music store and just ask to meet with their instructors and see what you think. Beginning students need to feel comfortable with their instructor. A bad teacher can discourage a child and cause them to never want to play an instrument again, ever! Local youth orchestras can often give you referrals to teachers who are both experienced and professional.

What if my child doesn’t want to practice?

Just as we parents sometimes leave a stack of dishes in the sink unwashed for an evening, there will be times that kids will not want to put in their effort either. If practice is like pulling teeth, set a timer for fifteen minutes and have the child focus for a short period of time. A tiny bit of practice every day is much better that an hour one day a week. As a child matures, their practice intensifies and they seem to pace themselves and their practice time. Kids will play for a long time if they truly enjoy their instrument. As with everything in life, some amount of discipline is required, but a small amount of discipline in a young child turns into a highly disciplined adult. Music lessons are very beneficial in that respect.

Blessings & Sorrows

By: Sue Anganes

My husband and I went with our youngest two boys, Ray and Ted, and one of our adult sons, Charlie, to the Higgins Armory Museum for their annual Gingerbread Castle Competition. We went last year and enjoyed it so much that we decided to make it an annual Christmas tradition.

The museum is located in Worcester, Massachusetts, and is the second largest collection of medieval armor and weapons in the United States.  The whole collection is valued at eighty million dollars and is housed high on a hill in a building resembling a castle. The gingerbread castles were on a long set of tables in the Grand Hall and the fragrance of gingerbread surrounded us as we walked into the vaulted ceilinged room.

Great Hall

There were entries by professional caterers and amateur bakers, as well as local vocational high schools. The work put into the construction and detail was outstanding. Upon entering the museum, we were issued ballots and it was very hard to decide who should get our vote! I personally thought that one of the local vocational schools had perfected the art of gingerbread construction. The school had fabricated stained glass windows and lit the castle from the inside. Through the front door you could see a decorated dining room with individual platters of food on the table and tapestries on the walls.

Gingerbread Castle

After viewing all the gingerbread creations, we spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around the museum examining the armor, swords, shields, and various other ancient artifacts. Even though we’ve been to the museum numerous times, we’ve always learned something new from the displays.

Viewing the swords

At one point, the Master Singers of Worcester performed Christmas carols a capella. The Great Hall was filled with the most wonderful sounds of Christmas. My husband and I, as well as the boys, were up on the fourth floor at the top of the great hall, looking down from the balcony at the singers. It was the most beautiful, spellbinding moment of the day.

 

Singers

 

Suddenly, I was back to the horrible reality of the previous day. I thought of the contrast between the beauty of that moment and the horrible events that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary School of the day before. As I thought of the massacre of the twenty innocent children and the six adult women, I started crying. As I listened to the beautiful music, tears just streamed down my face and I couldn’t stop them.

This year, I think that Christmas will bring beauty mixed with sorrow. I have my children here with me to hug, but I know there are many other moms, whether through a violent act, accident, or illness, do not have their children with them this Christmas.

I personally know many families who have suffered the great loss of losing a child; some even this year. There is still time to reach out to them before Christmas, to let them know you care, that you are thinking of them, and that you know that their hearts are still broken even many years after their loss. Give thought to how you can bless them in some small way. I am personally going to make an effort to do this, especially this year.

What I had intended to be an upbeat post about Christmas traditions took a little bit of a detour. But this year, it had to.

 

Elias’ Birthday

By: Sue Anganes

One year ago in November, my grandson Elias was born. Now he’s walking and stealing onions from my vegetable bin! I am so thankful to be a next door neighbor to my grandchildren and to be able to watch them grow.

Happy First Birthday, Elias! Yiayia loves you!

Newborn Elias

IMG_5762eliasonionbin

Coloring

Letting Boys Be Boys

By: Sue Anganes

A couple of years ago, my daughter and son-in-law, Cassie and Mark, needed a new roof for their ranch style home. Since everyone in our family is hands-on (and also cheap), we decided that the extended family would pitch in and help to re-shingle it. Thankfully, the weather cooperated and things rolled along smoothly (except for some carpenter ant damage and subsequent repairs that slowed things down for a bit). We had friends and neighbors also pitch in and help on a couple of days, but the true excitement was the fact that Ted, who was nine years old at the time, was allowed to be on the roof and help.

There was always a point in my sons’ lives where I have to shut off the “mama” switch and let my boys be boys. This occurred when my boys started skateboarding, flying (my son Andrew soloed before he had his driver’s license), hunting, splitting wood, using knives, driving, and doing all the other activities that made me worry. I had to not watch Ted walking back and forth over the roof, climbing the ladder, and swinging his hammer. I worried and then had to shut it off. This was a big event in Teddy’s life. He was one of the guys. He braved the freezing wind just because he liked his new grown-up status. He pitched in and truly was a big help. I could see Ted, in his blue hooded sweatshirt, pulling out nails, happy as a clam to be freezing on a roof with his dad and brothers.

Later in that week, Cassie took Ted to get some new work boots. Ted proudly clomped through the house all that day, wearing those manly boots and scuffing my floors.

When Mom Gets Sick

By: Sue Anganes

For the past two months our family has been battling pneumonia. It hit my son Charlie over Labor Day weekend. Charlie’s high fever wouldn’t respond to Tylenol and his horrible coughing left him exhausted, so my husband took him to Lowell General Hospital’s ER at midnight. After some aggressive treatment, Charlie was back on his feet again (although still very weak) in about a week’s time. He was registered to compete in a triathlon in Western Massachusetts which, unfortunately, was now absolutely out of the question due to his horrible, lingering cough (which the doctor said could last a month or more).

Exactly three weeks after Charlie’s visit to the ER, my daughter Tessa became very sick. She also had a high temperature and cough. I took her to the doctor’s office and she was diagnosed with pneumonia.  I wasn’t surprised that she also had pneumonia, but I wondered why she and Charlie were the only ones who had it and why it took three weeks for one to catch it from the other.

I was very busy the week that Tessa was sick. My son, Ray, had appointments in Boston on Monday and a physical therapy appointment on Tuesday. I babysat my two grandchildren on Wednesday and Thursday while my oldest daughter, Cassie, was at work. Throughout the whole week I was feeling a bit sick, running a low-grade fever, and had a slight cough.  The mom in me said, “Keep going, you won’t get sick. Friday you can have a rest.” Well, by Friday I was in bed. A friend brought me some chicken and rice soup, which I ate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. When I woke on Saturday morning, I got dressed and told my husband,  ”Take me to the hospital!”

Lo and behold, I had pneumonia too. If I had been smart, I would have seen my doctor earlier in the week and gotten treatment sooner. However, we moms are all “supermoms” and are never supposed to get sick, right? The result of my stubbornness was that I spent almost six days in bed. By day three I decided it was a least time to brush out my hair and take a shower. My hair, which was in a braid had basically turned into a rat’s nest.  It looked like I had a 1960’s beehive style going on at the top, and just matted fuzz along the length of the braid. I had turned from  “super mom” to a “super wreck.”

My husband shopped and cooked. The kids cleaned, and my son, Ray, vacuumed (that was amazing in itself). The laundry got washed and folded and the dishes were washed. I was truly thankful for all the help.

But…When moms get sick and can’t get up and around, normal things become amplified into enormous aggravations.  When I was finally sitting up in my chair, I could see dust and dirt in the corner of the room. On any given day of the year, dust and dirt is probably always in that same corner of the room, but while I wasn’t able to get up and vacuum it myself. I thought it would drive me crazy! Suddenly, the refrigerator was a wreck and needed to be cleaned out. The pile of shoes by the front door (which is always there) became a mountain in my eyes, and I dwelled on it until it, too, drove me nuts. The towels were not folded how I folded them, and the kitchen table was cluttered with boxes from grocery shopping. Everything felt out of control to me because I wasn’t physically able to help with anything. After all, it was still a physical effort just to take a shower in the morning. I felt like I was going a bit wacky and I’m sure to the kids, I was. To their credit, they did not point that out to me, but I’m sure I could hear them murmuring amongst themselves in the other room. I did get scolded once by my daughter for ripping all the sheets off my bed and putting them in the wash. I just couldn’t stand being in bed all those days with the same sheets!

With three of us at home with pneumonia, and in various states of recovery, I was wondering if the ax would fall again. Well, it did.  Eleven days after I started my antibiotics, Teddy got a high fever and started coughing. Because the others in the household were working or studying, I took Teddy myself to his pediatrician. I didn’t wait at all to seek treatment for Ted; I knew the result of this infection, and I wanted to catch it as soon as possible to prevent the worst. Ted was brought into the exam room, and after the nurse took all the preliminary info and left the room, I put my head down on the exam table and rested. I still felt so wiped out. I’m sure Teddy and I looked like quite the pair! They put Teddy on antibiotics and he actually started bouncing back to health sooner than the rest of us. In the mean time, my married son and his wife were both put on antibiotics for the same reason: pneumonia! They were unfortunate enough to catch it while visiting us.

Two months after Charlie got pneumonia, my oldest daughter, Cassie, got a high temperature and started coughing. Unfortunately, it was right at the start of the hurricane. The next morning I drove her to the doctor’s office because she was unable to do so herself, and she was also diagnosed with pneumonia. My heart really went out to Cassie because she has two young children at home ages three and one year, and with her husband working in Boston, I knew it would be impossible for her to care for them by herself while she was so sick. It was hard enough for me when I was sick, and I have much older children and adult college students at home who can fend for themselves. When moms with young children get sick, it’s impossible to care for the kids without some assistance.

My daughter Tessa and I stepped in and cared for the little ones for two days while Cassie’s fever was high and while she was waiting for her antibiotics to kick in. Our hearts melted a couple of times when three year old Amelia’s eyes welled up with tears and said that she missed mommy. Little Elias occasionally said, ”Mumma,” but he was generally distracted by everything going on around him. Even though I routinely babysit the kids a couple of days a week while Cassie works, Amelia was a little more clingy than usual, and seemed to miss her mommy more. I think she knew there was something different going on, which upset her. We tried to reassure her that everything was going to be fine.

It has been a long two months for our family. I don’t think I have ever been as sick as I was this time. It made me think about how difficult it would be to have a chronic illness as a mom to young children. I was fortunate to have something treatable, and also have family members to help me out. I hope I will never take my good health for granted again.

The Soup Is On!

By: Sue Anganes

With the days getting shorter and the weather getting colder, I enjoy cooking tasty soups. One of my favorites is cheap and very easy to make. I learned to make it from my Greek mother-in-law, Helen.  While Helen was alive I spent so many afternoons in her cozy kitchen, dining on her ultimate peasant food: a meal of lentil soup accompanied by a big chunk of crusty bread. I always watched her cook. She really never had me help her, and she never wrote down any of her recipes, so the only way I’ve been able to recreate her dishes was from memory and experimentation. After much practice, I think I have her lentil soup recipe down pat and I’d love to share it with you.

Helen’s Lentil Soup

  • 1 ½ tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 large onion
  • 4 garlic cloves, peeled and chopped
  • 2 cups of brown lentils
  • 1- 15 oz. can of diced tomatoes
  • ¼ cup tomato paste
  • 6 cups of water oregano, salt, and pepper to taste

Optional:

  • 1 large sliced carrot (my kids don’t like it with carrots)
  • 1 link Loukániko, diced (Greek pork sausage, flavored with wine and orange peel) or a bit of kielbasa

In a large soup pot heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add onions, (carrots and loukániko if desired), and garlic, and cook until the onions are softened and golden (approximately 10 minutes). Stir in the lentils, tomatoes, tomato paste, oregano, and water. Cook for 30 minutes, or until lentils are soft, stirring frequently. Add the salt and pepper after the lentils are completely cooked. Adding the salt first will toughen the lentils.

Serve with crusty bread, or in a pinch, saltines.

Enjoy this healthy, autumn delight!

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